What’s Clutter Got to do with Fitness/Weight Loss? March 11, 2010

A lot, in my opinion. See my guest post on this topic over at MizFitOnline!!

An excerpt:

It took me a very long while for my healthy bodily habits to become ingrained and “automatic.” And I am suspecting it will take an equally long while (if not longer) to become an “automatically” organized person. If ever.

Here are a few things I’ve observed that are true in both cases.

Procrastination is the devil.

How many times did I used to say, “I’ll go to the Farmers’ Market… later,” or “I’ll go to the gym… later,” or whatever? And “later” stretched into never. I realize that I am the same way about picking up random crap in my house.

I always tell myself, “I’ll do it LATER.” But later, the pile always grows, it always gets bigger, stuff gets lost more easily, and it’s just a hundred times more awful and messy to deal with it later. Same with being overweight. The longer you wait, the more there is to deal with.

Read more here.

Shining A Light into the Darkness December 18, 2009

I got an email recently from one of my blog readers, who was responding to my jacket post. She said,

You (maybe because you are now thin?) are able to speak about things that I (and many) have also experienced, with such shame. It is so awful to be too big to fit into any jacket in the store and I’ve been there!  It’s always moving and fascinating to me that you can put this stuff out into the blogosphere, where I’ve just been mortified.

It really struck me, these words. And I thought, well maybe it is easier to write about these painful experiences because I’m not exactly in that place now (I wouldn’t exactly say “thin” but that’s another point). BUT I also think it is writing exactly about these things that has allowed them to change and heal. I really believe this.

For so long I felt such terrible shame and hatred (for myself) for being overweight, and out of shape, and for using food compulsively, and just ALL of it. I thought I was dealing with it: I went to numerous therapists, but that was very private. I went to a few “groups” and talked about it there, but that somehow didn’t do it either. I really felt resigned to having to live that way forever. It was very painful.

Finally when I decided that I NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING, I was casting about in the dark. I just knew I had to somehow throw myself out there, and be honest about it, or it was never going to change. I had to describe all the angst of it. I somehow knew that this was the only way out.

And it turned out to be true.

Sometimes I think about this blog and it makes me so emotional. I really believe it saved me (along with other things). This blog saved me. And so did the blogging community. And my friends. And my trainer. And eventually my family when I felt safe enough to share with them. And the Twitterers. (Tweeters) Y’all know who you are. But it was all about SHARING stuff that felt massively secretive before.

Now, I have another part of my life that could use a little light. Something that has plagued me as long or longer than the weight stuff: my unending clutter. I know somehow these things are related.

SO since it worked so well here, I’ve decided to start yet another blog to focus on THAT issue. And I am hoping that, like with this blog, I will find a community of both inspiring mentors and also struggling companions who are in the same boat as me. I have a RL (real life) friend who is helping me in a real, physical way. I am very very excited about this. I feel hopeful.  It’s another area that has brought me a lot of shame and upset and mortification. But I’m ready to shine the light.

Today’s Giveaway: CLOTHES! June 2, 2009

The decluttering continues! Today I decided to give away 3 items of too-large clothing. I thought I would have tons of these, but actually most of my big clothes are more fit for Goodwill than to giving to anyone I care about. But I do have 3 pretty nice things I would like to pass on.

One is my beloved Big White Shirt. This shirt was always oversized for me. I just checked the size and realized it is a size 3x! Um… I had no idea! When I bought that top I just loved it so much because it made me feel tiny. Of course. But at this point it just makes me look stupid. It’s super comfy, great to wear over anything, and perfect for summer. You can see it in my Photos, in the “before” from October 2008.

Two: a pair of wide-legged black croppped pants from J. Jill that I never wore, not even once. (well, once, to try on in the store) They are a sized Medium, but they are elastic waisted and J. Jill tends to run on the larger size. So I’d say they are equivalent to Large in most other brands. They’re soft, elegant and nice. They’re so wide and swingy they actually look like a skirt. On me, they fall to about mid-calf. (I’m 5’4″) They look sort of like this, but they’re shorter. (UPDATE: TAKEN!!)

Three: a sort of faux wool jacket-sweater, zippered, with pockets. It’s gray-black, textured and kind of nubbly. It isn’t super thick but nice for cool spring or fall days. It’s nice to have pockets. It’s standard size Large.

Again, send me an email with your snail mail address  if you want one of these items. First come, first get!